1.16.2005
Salvation Through Doing
There is a song that sometimes gets in my head and I imagine that it's God singing it to me. You might have heard it before - "What have you done for me lately, dunt dun du dunt dunt, ooo-o-o-ooo-yea." I think it's a song from the late 80s/early 90s. The point is that I feel like I'm not doing enough for God. With my job, working with students that are from 5th -8th grade, I sometimes feel like I'm always supposed to be doing more. Sometimes I get this feeling from my boss(es), who are giving me helpful ideas & suggestions, but instead feel more like demands. Or sometimes I feel like I have to do more based on what a leader has said to me - suggestions that they are making for the ministry, which feel urgent. Or sometimes parents will ask questions about how much time is being spent on some ministries but not others - making me feel like I'm not doing enough for each ministry I'm involved in. Then, in the back of my mind I hear music, "What have you done for me lately?" What have I done? What have I done!?! All day I've being doing, and going! What more am I supposed to do! It's like I'm trying to EARN something by doing so much. I'm trying to earn the respect of my bosses, trying to earn the approval from my leaders, trying to earn the praise from the parents, and in a way, trying to earn my salvation from God. Oh! How wrong this all is!! I CANNOT earn salvation!! But my mind is living in such a way that I'm trying to earn my salvation through doing all of these things. I feel like American culture is so wrapped up in what we do. One of the first questions we ask when we meet someone is "What do you do?" If it's a friend you know, you might ask, "What did you do today?" When the truth, the truth that I find from God, is that God wants our hearts, our motives, our spirits, our souls. Its not so much about what you DO, but who you ARE. Who are you, not what are you doing. I'm just thinking this through in my mind, thinking about my own motives for the things I do. My intentions are mostly good in the things I do, but I put too much of my own self worth on what I'm doing and not who I am.
¶ 10:15 PM
¶ 10:15 PM
